Viral video of couple's miscarriage sheds light on once taboo topic

DENVER - They're the viral videos that are first heartwarming, then just two days later, heartbreaking. Sam and Nia Rader, two video bloggers, posted a video of Nia's surprise announcement that she was pregnant to their channel.

It happened after Sam secretly took a sample of Nia's urine from the toilet and used it for a pregnancy test. He then surprised Nia when he told her and their two small children they were going to have a baby. Already it's been viewed more than 12 million times.

Two days later, the couple posted another video, "Our Baby Had A Heartbeat," announcing they had suffered a miscarriage.

"It was like a huge celebration and then it was like, bam, it hit us like a bomb," Nia described in the video.

The videos have triggered conversation about miscarriage, a topic that's still widely taboo and have encouraged other women to share their stories too.

"Even with all I know, when we lost Gus, before we found out what was wrong with him, I felt like it was my fault," Elizabeth Petrucelli described.

After Elizabeth Petrucelli had a miscarriage in 2010, she said her overwhelming loss was met with a lack of compassion. It's why she became an advocate for families experiencing pregnancy loss.

"It was treated as if, well miscarriages happen all the time, and I'm like, well it doesn't happen all the time to me," Petrucelli said.

In fact, numbers show about 1 in 4 early term pregnancies ends in miscarriage.  While there are support groups and counseling services for women and couples who've experienced a miscarriage counselors say there is still a stigma that remains around the topic.

"Whenever we're hiding something or being secretive about something, shame develops around it.  Shame can really only be let go of when we're having a voice," said Shadia Duske, a licensed counselor and owner of Luna Counseling Center.

Duske said the women she works with often blame themselves and feel if they are somehow broken. The loss she said can feel isolating.

"It's a really unique loss, it's the loss of the future rather than the loss of the past.  It's the loss of a dream, a direction their life is moving.  It almost feels like the rug gets pulled out from under them," Duske described.

For Petrucelli, who miscarried a second baby, Gus, in May, keeping tangible memories has helped her work through her grief.

"This is the piece of the angel box he's in. I love to know that it's almost as if I'm touching him and holding him," Petrucelli said while holding a small white cross.

The mother of two living children said talking to other women who have miscarried helped her realize she's not alone and validated her feelings.

"To be able to speak about it is so helpful. It just releases, it fills some of that hole actually, that's what it does," Petrucelli said.

For a list of support groups and counseling services available for women and couples who have experienced a miscarriage, visit the Luna Counseling website.

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