Pam's Journal: Tough Decisions
Posted Jan. 19, 2004
Pride is a funny thing. I've missed the last two weekends of work, and each time I tried to tell myself I could do it. In fact, two weekends ago, I kept stringing Marty Coniglio along saying, "Let's see how I feel in the morning." He was the one who was going to work for me, and I hate to make my coworkers work when they are supposed to have a day off. But this last weekend I finally realized that I just can't do my job, and I need to give them time to figure out who will work for me.
So last week I made the decision to go on short-term disability. I gotta say it was the toughest thing I've had to do in a long time. Admitting I can't work is admitting I'm sick. I can't be sick. I'm a tough Dutch farm girl for Pete's sake! I don't get sick. Sure I get a cold now and then, and I've had the flu only once in the last 10 years! I just don't get sick.
Okay, so I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2002. But throughout those treatments of chemo, I rarely felt ill, and missed only two days of work because of it. I didn't feel sick! But here I am now, and I know the situation is different. It's still hard to admit that I'm sick.The radiation has wiped me out. I've had 35 treatments which were five days a week. Tumors in my upper chest/armpit, neck and brain were radiated. Sometimes it was all I could do not to scream during treatments. I know they are shrinking my tumors, but especially the assault to my brain just made me want to scream at the top of my lungs. I was told it wouldn't affect the good parts of my brain, and so far that seems to be true (although my husband may beg to differ!).My forehead got pretty red, but my chest, neck and armpit suffered the worst of the burning. Treatments ended last Wednesday (Jan. 14), and I'm healing quite nicely already.But the main reason I'm not able to work is because of a cough I've had for quite some time. A CT scan of my chest and abdomen showed fluid buildup on my right lung, presumably caused by tumors in my media-stinum area weeping fluid. That was drained and I did see some improvement, but the cough remains. Unfortunately, the more I talk, the more I cough. I'm sure you can see the problem in that with my line of work!So, I've chosen not to do my "day job" and focus on fighting this unrelenting disease. Today I begin another 10 rounds of radiation, this time to my media-stinum (upper center of chest) area. Chemo begins on Friday.So yes, I'm sick. But I'm also thankful to be working for such a wonderful group of people who are completely supportive and understanding. God brought me to 7NEWS because He knew what was down the road for me, and He knew He'd have the right people in place to help me out. God is good!There's plenty more to write, but that will have to wait until next time. I may not be able to talk without interruption, but at least I can type!So until next time, stay aware of your body, do your self exams, and check out things that don't seem right ... NOW, not later!Pam Daale
The Happy Cancer Patient ... again
You can e-mail Pam Daale at Pam_Daale@TheDenverChannel.com.
![]() BREAST CANCER SELF-EXAM ARTICLES: WEB RESOURCES: |
The Happy Cancer Patient ... again
You can e-mail Pam Daale at Pam_Daale@TheDenverChannel.com.
Previous Journal Entries:
- December 29, 2003: Pam's Journal: Slash, Burn, and Poison
- December 22, 2003: Pam Daale: At It Again
- October 24, 2003: Oct. 24, 2003: This Week's Hero A Familiar Face To Viewers
- July 1, 2003: Pam's Journal: Dad's Day
- June 10, 2003: Pam's Journal: How I Cope
- May 31, 2003: Pam's Journal -- Free At Last!
- May 25, 2003: Pam's Journal: Changed Forever? May 17, 2003: Pam's Journal: To Reconstruct or not to Reconstruct
- May 11, 2003: Pam's Journal: Not Looking So Much Like 'Mom' These Days
- May 4, 2003: Pam's Journal: Going Through The Mastectomy
- April 25, 2003: Pam Daale Recovering After Bilateral Mastectomy
- April 14, 2003: Pam's Journal: On To The Next Phase
- April 8, 2003: Pam's Journal: My Final Days Before Mastectomy March 31, 2003: Pam's Journal: When Will Hair Grow Back?
- March 10, 2003: Pam's Journal: Final Chapter
- March 3, 2003: Pam's Journal: Final Chemo Treatment February 24, 2003: Pam's Journal: Strange Happenings
- February 17, 2003: Pam's Journal: Kids, Cancer, and Coping
- February 3, 2003: Pam's Journal: Super Soapbox
- Jan. 13, 2003: Pam's Journal: Chemo, Take Six
- Jan. 6, 2003: Pam's Journal: The Hair Thing Revisited
- December 30, 2002: Pam's Journal: Inside Out
- December 16, 2002: Pam's Journal: Oh, What a Difference!
- December 8, 2002: Pam's Journal: Moving Forward
- December 1, 2002: Pam's Journal: Medical Miracles November 24, 2002: Pam's Journal: Halfway Mark
- November 18, 2002: Pam's Journal: Picking Bones With Advertisers November 10, 2002: Pam's Journal: It's In The Genes November 3, 2002: Pam's Journal: Emotional Rollercoaster October 28, 2002: Pam's Journal: Chemo, Take Three
- October 26, 2002: Oct. 25, 2002: Hero Helps Move Women Through Cancer Journey
- October 22, 2002: Pam's Journal: The Hair Thing
- October 21, 2002: Pam's Journal: An Uneventful Week
- October 18, 2002: Spa, Fitness Center Pampers Cancer Patients
- October 7, 2002: 54,587 Join Race For The Cure
- October 7, 2002: Pam's Journal: The Race
- October 7, 2002: Pam's Personal Race For The Cure
- October 4, 2002: Pam Tells Of Her Chemo Progress
- October 4, 2002: Pam's Journal: Never More Than You Can Handle
- October 1, 2002: Pam's Journal: Chemo, Take Two
- September 21, 2002: Pam's Story: My Battle With Cancer
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