While the state Legislature struggles with a bill to bring telephone solicitors under control, you may want some ways to deal with those annoying calls that come during dinner, in the evening or when you've gone to sleep.

These ideas come from a Web site called funnyforwards.com.

Here's a sample: the caller asks, "How are you today?" You say, "I'm so glad you asked because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up and my roof leaks ... my dog just died... and they're coming to get me."

The caller gives the pitch, and you say, "Will you marry me?"

Ask them to repeat everything they say, or ask them to talk very slowly because you're writing everything down.

Answer the phone, and as soon as you realize it's someone with a sales pitch, set the phone down and yell, "Oh my god!" and hang up.

Tell them that you're hard of hearing and to speak up, louder and louder.

Tell them you're not wearing any clothes... and ask what they're wearing.

Bill's favorite was the response to a carpet cleaner: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"

Take a tip from funnyforwards.com -- turn the tables on telephone solicitors.

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