DENVER -- Two years after a sex scandal forced him to resign as pastor of New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Ted Haggard took the pulpit and said he was abused as a child.

Haggard was giving a sermon at an Illinois church over the weekend when he made two apologies -- one to his family and one to the members of his former church.

"I'm very, very sorry that I sinned. My wife -- all my sin and shame fell on her. People treated her as if she had fallen. And my children -- they all went through carrying my shame," Haggard said.

He told the congregation at Open Bible Fellowship Church in Morrison, Ill., that he was sexually abused as a child, when he was in second grade.

"My dad was pretty successful. He had a lot of workers. One of those workers had a sexual experience with me. I was 7 years old," Haggard said.

Haggard said the experience haunted him all of his life and drove him to the "dark and repulsive" side.

"There I was, 50 years old, a conservative Republican, loving the word of God, an evangelical, born-again, spirit-filled, charismatic, all those things. But some of the things that were buried in the depths of the sea from when I was in the second grade started to rage in my heart and mind," he said.

The founder of New Life Church resigned as pastor of the 14,000-member megachurch after the scandal broke in 2006. He also resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals after he confessed to undisclosed "sexual immorality." He said at the time that he bought meth but didn't use it.

Over the weekend, Haggard blasted church leaders in his sermon, saying they missed the chance to use the scandal to display Christian love.

"I believe He gives us opportunities every few years to communicate the Gospel worldwide through secular media and we consistently blow it," Haggard said. "A congressman in trouble, that's the time. A family member gets himself in horrible trouble, that's the time. A preacher gets himself in awful trouble, that's the time!"

Haggard said he became suicidal after the scandal broke and went so far as to figure out ways to "rid the world of the horrible curse of Ted Haggard."

He said some of the claims by the Denver male prostitute Mike Jones of gay sex and crystal meth were exaggerated. Haggard did not admit to having sex with the gay escort, saying only that he "sinned."

Jones told 7NEWS Wednesday that Haggard has the right to say what he would like and added that he, too, contemplated suicide after the scandal broke and felt betrayed by the gay community.

"Ted Haggard is correct by saying the Christian community, like the National Association of Evangelicals, turned their back to him, as the gay community, like the Human Rights Campaign, turned their back on me. I have learned image and money is more important than reality," Jones said.

Haggard said he is now a stronger Christian and has a stronger marriage.

Haggard's sermon at his friend's church was recorded on audiotape and put on his Web site, TedHaggard.com. (It was later yanked.) It was his first public comments since the scandal.

It's not certain if Haggard will return to preaching. His former church is not enthusiastic about the idea.

"While we cannot endorse his return to vocational ministry, we do wish him only success in his business endeavors," New Life Church said in a statement.

Haggard is forbidden to talk to the media after he signed a severance deal with New Life Church, which paid him through 2007. Besides the gag order, the deal also required that Haggard leave Colorado Springs.

After the scandal broke, Haggard moved to Phoenix with his family to begin what church leaders called a spiritual restoration program which was expected to include counseling and prayer and last five years or longer. In February, New Life said that Haggard wanted to end the process prematurely.

Afterwards, New Life said that "the process of restoring Ted Haggard is incomplete and (New Life) maintains its original stance that he should not return to vocational ministry."

On Wednesday, New Life Church said in a statement, "We realize that the past two years have been especially difficult for both the New Life Church family and the Haggard family. We are certainly grateful for the many years of dedicated leadership from Ted Haggard and we wish him and his family only the best."

Last December, a gunman opened fire at New Life, killing two people before taking his own life.

That gunman had mentioned Haggard several times in his online rants. After he died, police found the book "I Had To Say Something: The Art of Ted Haggard's Fall" in his car. The book was written Jones.