Pam's Journal: Emotional Rollercoaster
November 3, 2002
Editor's Note: 7NEWS Meteorologist Pam Daale is grateful to all of the viewers who have expressed their best wishes as she wages her fight against breast cancer.
Daale has chosen to use TheDenverChannel.com as her way of keeping the public updated on her health. New journal entries will be posted weekly.
If you've been reading my journal, I hope you've been convinced to begin or
at least become more diligent in doing your breast exams.
Since I've
started writing this journal, I've spoken to or had e-mails from at least a
half-dozen others who were just diagnosed with breast cancer. I think
that's pretty amazing considering I've only been doing this journal for
about a month and a half.
That's one person a week, and that's only the ones who are contacting me. Imagine how many others are being diagnosed each week!
So, you're "getting to know your breasts", and now you've found a lump.
What do you do? I think the worst thing for me was not knowing what it was.
In my case I was already due for a mammogram, so I made that appointment
first.
I checked my lump every day until my mammogram, trying to see if
(hoping) it was shrinking. My mind played a hundred different scenarios.
Mom had breast cancer. This could be cancer. I'd been taking an appetite
suppressant that has caffeine in it. Caffeine makes my boobs lumpy, so it's
only a caffeine-induced lump ... It's hard, it doesn't move. It's cancer... It
came up so fast. It can't be cancer. Breast cancer is slow-growing ... isn't
it?
I tried not to think about it, and putting my trust in God kept me from
drowning in worry.
Then I had the mammogram. The usual pictures were taken. I waited. They
came back and took another picture. I waited. The mammogram was
inconclusive, so I was taken to another room to have an ultrasound and core
needle biopsy.
I still didn't have an answer when I left that day. I cried
with my friend Emily when I left the office. I'm not sure why, although I'm
sure being pre-menstrual didn't help!
I had to wait another 2-3 days to
find out what the lump was. That waiting again! My brain replayed the
different scenarios.
By the time I called to get the results, I was fairly convinced in my mind
that it was just a caffeine-induced thing, no big deal. But then the
doctor said cancer. More specifically, ductal carcinoma. I was brave in
talking with her. I didn't cry until after I got off the phone. Thank
goodness I knew God was walking by my side. In fact, I backed up to that
precipice called breast cancer, and did the Nestea plunge into His arms. I
knew I couldn't walk through this alone, much less walk at all!
If you've been through breast cancer, you know the emotions run the gamut.
My mom sent me a tape of a comedienne/speaker who performs at some of the
Women of Faith conferences. Her name is Nicole Johnson, and she does a
routine called "Stepping into the Ring". It's about a woman who "steps into
the ring" with the enemy called breast cancer. Every phrase from the doctor
is like a blow from the enemy. Even innocent questions from the children
knock the wind out of her. Her whole routine is very poignant. In fact,
they show many women in the crowd with tears streaming down their faces.
But the good news in all of this is that having breast cancer doesn't mean
the end of life. It does mean treatment that may not be all that pleasant,
but that's temporary. And yes, we can't ignore the fact that 40,000 lives
are lost each year in the United States alone because of this vicious
disease. But again, early detection is the key to shrinking the number of
deaths.
So if you've found a lump that you're sure wasn't there before, call your
gynecologist or family doctor. They'll either give you a breast exam or
send you directly to a mammography center. If you've never had either done
and you're feeling modest about doing something like this remember...this
exam could be the minor inconvenience that saves your life. If you're older
you're likely used to these intrusions on your privacy. But for younger
women, it's even more important that you get over your modesty and have your
lump checked out. Cancer tends to me more aggressive in younger women, so
the sooner you have it checked, the quicker you can put a stop to it if
indeed it is cancer.
There's so much more that can be said about emotions, but I think I'll stop
here for this week. Next week we'll deal with the emotions that come along
with the "what's next" phase.
Until that time, keep getting to know your breasts!
Pam Daale
The Happy Cancer Patient
You can e-mail Pam Daale at Pam_Daale@TheDenverChannel.com.
![]() BREAST CANCER SELF-EXAM ARTICLES: WEB RESOURCES: |
The Happy Cancer Patient
You can e-mail Pam Daale at Pam_Daale@TheDenverChannel.com.
Previous Stories:
-
October 28, 2002: Pam's Journal: Chemo, Take Three
- October 26, 2002: Oct. 25, 2002: Hero Helps Move Women Through Cancer Journey
- October 22, 2002: Pam's Journal: The Hair Thing
- October 21, 2002: Pam's Journal: An Uneventful Week
- October 18, 2002: Spa, Fitness Center Pampers Cancer Patients
- October 7, 2002: 54,587 Join Race For The Cure
- October 7, 2002: Pam's Journal: The Race
- October 7, 2002: Pam's Personal Race For The Cure
- October 4, 2002: Pam Tells Of Her Chemo Progress
- October 4, 2002: Pam's Journal: Never More Than You Can Handle
- October 1, 2002: Pam's Journal: Chemo, Take Two
- September 21, 2002: Pam's Story: My Battle With Cancer
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