DENVER - March 2, 2014
Hello, Dahlings! (Waves regally)
You lucky, lucky readers, I'm filling in this week for Jeb. My puppy raiser Lisa traded me for Jeb because Marianne was begging, simply begging to spend time with me. I'm sure my puppy raiser will enjoy Jeb (yawn).
But, my dears, you don't seem very excited to see me. You know who I am, don't you? DON'T YOU?
(Gasps) You don't, do you! Oh, this is terrible, just awful. I mean, well (shakes head), I just can't believe it. Oh, the horror, the humanity.
(Takes deep, steadying breath)
(Mutters to self: Well, I'll just have to introduce myself, that's all. Just say my name and explain who I am to these poor, ignorant readers. I can do this.)
(Waves) Hello, Dahlings!
'Tis I, Eliza, one of the famous Eukanuba E litter. (Pauses) Oh, right, I suppose you don't know about that either. (Exasperated sigh) Fine. Well, the Eukanuba company gave Canine Companions $100,000 to sponsor an entire litter of puppies. The "E Litter," get it? And I am one of those puppies. Yes, that's right, I have a puppy raiser AND a sponsor. And of course my puppy raiser is also a professional groomer. I have to look my best at all times, after all.
I have seven siblings - Emma, Everett, Ella, Elmo, Euka III, Emily, and Ethan. We are scattered all over the country, but in May all of us will go to Advanced Training at one of the the five Canine Companions regional campuses.
I will be going to the campus in Oceanside, California, a lovely seaside resort. I've heard that compared to how we've been living with our puppy raisers, the conditions at AT are a teensy bit Spartan, but I'm pretty sure that Eukanuba intended that some of their $100,000 donation be used for heated dog beds, massage therapists and extra grooming staff for the E Litter. Because we're so very special. I'm really looking forward to meeting my personal trainer (I'm sure the E pups won't have to share trainers with the hoi polloi) and daily foot rubs after class.
I've heard a rather nasty rumor of late that Eukanuba will be sponsoring another litter due in March (like we could be replaced so easily - don't make me bark!) I imagine Jeb will update you if this dreadful fairy tale is true (shudders). I myself could not possibly care less.
Well, it's been lovely chatting with you my dears, but it's time for my spa appointment.
Ta Ta for now!
Famous E Puppy
Want more stories about CCI Puppies? "Let the Dogs Speak! Puppies in Training Tell the Story of Canine Companions for Independence" is available in print and eBook formats from Amazon and Barnes and Noble. All author's royalties are donated to CCI.