With the discovery of my mutated gene, the choice to do bilateral mastectomy was an easy one. The choice to have reconstruction took a little more thought.

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On the one hand, my vanity said I'm young (relatively!) and I would still like to have something to fill out a swim suit. Granted, that can be done with prosthesis too, but I recalled one woman's story of "losing her boobs in the water". Not a tragedy, but still, something I'd rather not have to deal with. I am also married to a man who is ... well, a man! So of course his feelings played a part in my decision.

On the other hand, as a paraplegic, the logistics of reconstruction were complicated at best. I use my arms for EVERYTHING. If I want to get out of bed in the morning, I have to use my arms. I need to pee, I use my arms to get onto the toilet. Just getting from point A to point B requires using my arms. The handouts I was given for what to do after reconstructive surgery said something like "pretend your elbows are pinned to your sides." I laughed!

So I discussed with my surgeons at length how this would affect me. I'm not very good at sitting around (no pun intended), but I figured I could do that for a while. My biggest obstacle was making transfers. What would I do when nature called? Urinating was a fairly easy one to overcome with a foley catheter. Bowel movements were something else. My pride said there was NO WAY I was going to have someone help me with that. So I HAD to somehow get onto the toilet. In thinking this through, I thought in the worst case, I could have my husband lift me on and off (small price for him to pay considering what he was getting in return, right?!).

And that's how I elected to do the reconstruction. I've been through so many things in my life that required me to find my own way of doing something that I figured this would just be one more.

So far, I haven't regretted it -- much.

One of the problems with using my arms so much is that the drains that are removing the fluid from the surgery sites drain a lot longer than one who doesn't use her arms. I had one more pulled out this week, leaving the one that drains my lymph node area. After a month of being in place, this drain didn't want to go quietly. The one that was pulled out two weeks ago came out easily and painlessly.

But you can imagine that things are healing, and they heal right around the drains. So when the second one came out last week, it required some hefty tugging from the nurse, and heavy breathing from me! Okay, I said it wasn't so bad at the time, but it hurt. In fact, it bothered me the rest of the day, and I finally took some Tylenol for it. The lymph drain isn't anywhere near the point where it can come out, and I'm not looking forward to when it is. I'm wondering (hoping!) if they can just cut off the part that sticks outside my skin, sew it up, and just take it out when they insert the final implants. Definitely wishful thinking!

Another bother with the expanders is that they are uncomfortable under my arms. I used to spend most of my time on my side and stomach when I sleep. That's not an option, especially now that the expanders are being expanded. They're hard, and make sleeping on my side, (much less my stomach!) a true pain. So sleep is a little in short supply these days.

Once filled, the expanders will stay in at least 3 months before the soft implants replace them. I probably have at least two more weeks before the expanders are completely filled. If we have a hot dry summer, I'll have even more to look forward to about the fall! Then, three months after the implants are in, it's time for nipple reconstruction, and my new breasts will be complete.

I knew all this going in, and still chose to do it, mainly because of all the women I talked to who said they were so pleased with the outcome. As a person with a disability, I'm "rewriting the textbooks" so to speak.

There weren't a lot of other women who used wheelchairs that had this done that I could talk to. I'm sure they're out there, but as I mentioned before, I'm used to finding ways to do things my own way. I had put up with a lot of things in the past, so how much harder could this be?! Hopefully I'll be one of the many who are pleased with their new (and improved!) chests!

Until next time, are you getting to know your breasts?

Pam Daale
The Happy (Former) Cancer Patient

You can e-mail Pam Daale at Pam_Daale@TheDenverChannel.com.