What a way to lead up to Monday's surgery. Our week in New Mexico visiting my brother and his family on their dairy farm was the best, and just what the doctor ordered! It was relaxing. It was refreshing. It was fun!

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As we approached the dairy, my kids plugged their noses and said "What's that smell?" I, however, was smiling, drinking in the aroma, remembering my childhood on the farm. That alone was enough to shed any worries I may have brought with me.

We spent time outside playing croquet, horseback riding, swinging, and checking out what happens on a dairy. We saw a brand new calf, and other calves in various stages of their lives until they were grownup milking cows. We watched the parade of cows as they made their daily rounds of milk giving. And of course, we got to drink fresh milk that never saw the inside of a milk jug!

Ah, it was the life, if only for a week. And in that week, my eyelashes and eyebrows made quite a comeback! So much so that I even tried putting on a little mascara today for the first time in 5 months! You may not be able to tell by looking at me, but I know it's there! It's probably all mental at this point, but I certainly am feeling better about how I look without makeup!

So, along with the physical getting-back-to-normal phase, this week will also usher in the "new me" phase.

Am I excited about having perky breasts again for the first time in over a decade? Sure, that will be nice. But the thing I'm most looking forward to is not having to wear a bra for a while! I have struggled with that feminine undergarment since I was in college, and probably before that! But I don't know what is more uncomfortable. The boa constrictor-like bras, or the floppy boobs.

I even went to one of those fancy schmancy bra places where they personally "fit" you. No bra (at least none that I saw) is under $40, and after a day of wearing them, they still don't feel any better than the $15 ones you can buy at Wal-Mart!

Am I feeling any depression about the loss of a part of myself? No, at least not yet. I suppose I won't completely know what it's going to be like with reconstructed breasts until after it's all done. In the words of the doctor of Gladys', a woman who sent me an e-mail about her ordeal, my breasts are "not my friends anymore." So on Monday I will be saying goodbye to those turncoats. Actually, it will be more like "good riddance!"

I will likely take a couple of weeks off writing this journal. So if you don't see a new entry, it doesn't mean that things didn't go well. I think I've been busier since my diagnosis that I have been ever in my life! So I'm going to take a break, and let myself be pampered for a while.

Thanks to all of you who have taken the time to write to me with encouragement. I can't write back to everyone, but I do read every e-mail. It makes a difference going into surgery knowing that I have so many supporting me, and praying for me. I'm confident that by the grace of God all will be well, and I'll be writing about how well it all went in my next journal entry.

So until that time, keep getting to know your breasts! Early detection is the key, you know!

Pam Daale
The Happy Cancer Patient

You can e-mail Pam Daale at Pam_Daale@TheDenverChannel.com.