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Staying Healthy

Pam's Journal: Feb. 17, 2003 -- Kids, Cancer, and Coping

My daughter is having her 7th birthday party today. She's been talking about it for the last 6 months! Her birthday isn't until Wednesday, but since the kids don't have school, today was the perfect day to get everyone together.

Imagine 15 children between the ages of 4 and 10 jumping, rolling, laughing and having a ball doing gymnastics. I'm not sure if her coach is looking forward to it, but we certainly are!

My kids have been such a blessing through my treatments. To see the joy on their faces for the simplest of things can bring a smile to my face no matter how bad I'm feeling. And since I've had people ask how we've dealt with them when it came to my cancer, I thought I'd dedicate this space to them.

When I first found my lump, my thinking brain went on a temporary hiatus. I called my OBGyn and was talking about this lump I had found, without realizing my children were in the next room playing. When I got off the phone, my daughter came to me with her beautiful blue eyes full of questions. So immediately I was put on the spot with her, and knew I had to respond in a way as not to frighten her. My theory has always been "the more you know, the less there is to fear". So I shot it straight with her from the start.

I explained that I had found a lump in my left breast that wasn't there a few weeks ago. I said it was probably nothing, but that I needed to see my doctor to make sure. That satisfied her, and she went off to play again.

When the cancer diagnosis came back, I again knew I was going to have to explain things to her since there would be obvious physical effects that she would see, and I knew there would be more questions. So I told her that I had cancer. It was a word she knew since her grandmother (my husband's mom) had died from a different type of cancer.

Since my prognosis was good from the beginning, it wasn't all that difficult to explain. She understands medicine, so I told her that I was going to have some really strong medicine that would kill the cancer and that I would be okay. I also explained that the medicine would be so strong that my hair would fall out, and I might not feel so good all the time.

But again, because my prognosis was good, I was able to have the confidence to reassure her that I was going to be okay. I knew it was true. I can't imagine the mommies who don't have a good prognosis, and what they tell their children. Just the thought breaks my heart. And that is why I'm doing what I'm doing. I want everyone reading this to be aware of the signs of breast cancer, and to be proactive in their own treatment and prevention.

Saturday night I had the pleasure of attending the Pink Tie Affair which is put on by the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. Thank goodness for organizations like theirs whose mission is to "eradicate breast cancer as a life-threatening disease..." (Find out more about them at http://www.komen.org) For a lot of cancers there isn't a thing we can do to prevent them. We can't really prevent breast cancer either, but we can certainly do something about detecting it early.

The Susan G. Komen foundation is adamant about early detection. I too am a believer, since it was with a self-exam that I discovered my own cancer. So let me harp on this again. GET TO KNOW YOUR BREASTS! If you're already lumpy, I'm sorry to say that it will be more difficult. But by doing exams more often, you'll become familiar with the ones that are fibrocystic, and you just might be able to tell one that isn't.

I used to be fibrocystic, but cutting caffeine out of my diet eliminated that. In my experience with fibrocystic lumps, they could be tender, especially during my period. My cancer lump was not tender. It was just a hard lump that grew over the time I found it to the time it was taken out.

Discharge is also a sign of POSSIBLE cancer. I want to emphasize possible, because I don't want to freak anyone out who has a discharge. I know someone who did, but when it was checked out it was NOT cancer. But if you have a discharge it is not normal and you should have it checked out. Be proactive. Don't assume it's nothing and just wait for it to go away. Even with lumps, most are nothing but fibrocystic masses. But if you're getting familiar with the texture of your breasts and you notice something out-of-the-ordinary, just go have it checked out. So you get there and the doc says it's nothing. Well, don't you feel better knowing? Again, the more you know, the less there is to fear.

So, getting back to my kids, God has blessed me with two of the brightest, most beautiful children on the planet (and no, I'm not biased!). They have had questions, and I try to answer them as honestly as I possible can. I just thank God that I can answer them truthfully and say that everything is going to be okay.

Unfortunately 40,000 women will have to say goodbye to their children this year because of breast cancer. Not all of the children will be under the age of 7, but there will be some. Research is making improvements, but you and I can do something about those statistics by doing self exams and having regular mammograms. Are you?

Until next time...

Pam Daale
The Happy Cancer Patient

You can e-mail Pam Daale at Pam_Daale@TheDenverChannel.com.


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