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Single Moms Finding Soul Sisters With Help From Site
CoAbode Can Help Single Mothers Find Housemates To Share Responsibilities
POSTED: 1:25 pm MST March 3, 2005
UPDATED: 7:37 pm MST March 3, 2005
DENVER -- Some say the Internet is an amazing resource to find out what's going on in your community and to meet people. But surfing the Web for a potential partner doesn't always have a romantic twist.There's a Web site devoted to single moms who are looking for someone to help share the burden.Teri Davis Padilla is divorced and raising her 5-year-old son, River, by herself.
"It's hard to do run the household and to do the yard work and all the chores and take care of everything all by yourself," Davis Padilla said.To go back to school in Boulder, Davis Padilla knew that money would be tight and she might have to move away from her home, and perhaps into a smaller apartment."I really don't want to live in an apartment. I'll do whatever it takes to live in a house and so River can have a yard and he'll have a place to have his trampoline," she said.She went online to look for a roommate and discovered CoAbode.com.The site connects single mothers, such as Davis Padilla, to other single mothers, such as Kate Warteman.Warteman is raising her two kids alone. There was an immediate connection when the two first communicated. They said it was just like meeting a soul sister."We know what it's like to be single mothers. It's chaotic all the time. We're rushing to get places, we're trying to get places, we're trying to keep the house clean and get the meals done and rushing them to and from all their activities," Warteman said."Every time I would write, or she would write me, it's like, 'Me too! Me too!' So we're really connected," Davis Padilla said.Davis Padilla and Warteman are not alone. According to the latest numbers from the U.S. Census Bureau, there are 10 million single mothers in the United States and that number is climbing. There were just 3 million single mothers in 1970.After months of e-mailing, Davis Padilla and Warteman decided to move in together to a bigger house."There's going to be three children, one dog, four cats and two mothers," Warteman said, laughing."There's a lot more room to run around (in the new house) but we got more breakable stuff now," said Warteman's 9-year-old daughter, Megan.Warteman and Davis Padilla have learned that being a single mother doesn't mean you have to suffer the burden all alone. They look to one another to lighten the load, financially and emotionally."When I was dating, I had this secret agenda. I thought, 'It would be nice to have somebody who could help with the chores. It would be nice to have somebody to help with the finances for this and that. ' Now, I can have the house I want and share it with somebody and have somebody to share the responsibility with me without putting some guy under some major pressure to rescue me in that way," Warteman said."What I'm getting is a financial break. We can live in a nice neighborhood and a nice house and be able to afford it and go to school at the same time," Padilla said.Although their children are still struggling with some sibling rivalry -- Warteman's youngest daughter now feels like the middle child because River is now the youngest in the house -- the women say their living arrangement is better than they could have hoped."We can really emotionally support each other talk about anything from dating to work situations to school or life in general. We have a very strong connection that way," Warteman said. "I know in a regular roommate situation, you would get the financial support but you wouldn't get all the other aspects.""We've definitely unloaded several times on each other already," Davis Padilla said."This is a time when we can give ourselves time and you feel that you don't have to rush into anything just for the convenience of being in a relationship and the convenience of having a partner," she said, although she joked, "It's just like being married!" without the physical aspects of it.Mothers who visit the site CoAbode have to fill out extensive profiles about their parenting styles and their lifestyle habits so they will know exactly what kind of person they could be living with.The site is a nonprofit but does require a one-time membership fee of $29.95. To learn more go to CoAbode.com.
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