This test is based on research by Scott Stanley and Howard Markman, at the University of Denver and their best selling book, "Fighting for Your Marriage" (by Markman, Stanley, and Blumberg).

These questions are ones that we have used in many studies on marriage. While no quiz such as this should be taken as being something that can predict your future -- or even say with certainty how your marriage is going relative to anyone else's -- your scores on these questions may lead you to think about ways in which you could make changes that would strengthen your marriage for the future. That is how we suggest you think about your responses.

In other words, the scores do not matter as much as how you think your relationship is doing on these dimensions. As we discuss in the book "Fighting for Your Marriage," all four of these dimensions are important for most couples in building and maintaining strong and happy marriages.

There are four sections here, each with a few questions in them. We recommend that you respond to the questions on your own (without your partner looking over your shoulder) and then, if you wish, talk together about where you each see strengths and concerns in your responses.

The four sections have to do with commitment, confidence, conflict, and positive bonding.

After each set of questions, we will give you a very rough sense of how you might think about your scores based on our data sets of scores from many couples who have filled out such measures across the country. Your scores on any of these questions should mostly be taken as an opportunity for you to reflect on how you think things are going in your marriage or relationship. Note that the ranges given are for each person's scores alone, not the total of the two of your scores together. Therefore, on any of these scales, one of you could score in one range while the other scores in a different range. That's because you are different people and likely see things differently.

Feel free to hit the "print" button at the very top of the story so that you can print out this test and take it with your significant other.

Commitment Questions

Please answer each of the following questions by indicating how strongly you agree or disagree with the idea expressed.

1 = Strongly Disagree
2 = Disagree
3 = Neither Agree Nor Disagree
4 = Agree
5 = Strongly Agree

1    2    3    4    5    My relationship with my partner is more important to me than almost anything else in my life.

1    2    3    4    5    I like to think of my partner and me more in terms of "us" and "we" than "me" and "him/her."

1    2    3    4    5    I want this relationship to stay strong no matter what rough times we may encounter.

Total up your answers on the above three questions. The highest score here is 15 and the lowest is 3. Relative to many others who have responded to these questions, we suggest these ranges for interpretation. Since most people respond at the higher ranges of these questions, :

14 to 15 -- HIGH: You scored high like most of people do who respond to these questions.

12 to 13 -- MEDIUM: You scored in a range we would call medium, but this is at or below the most typical score which tends to be in the higher range.

11 and below -- LOW: You scored relatively low on this. The further under 11 you scored, the more it might mean that you are struggling with your desire to be with your partner in the future. If that sounds like you, what does that mean to you and your relationship in the present?

Confidence Questions

Answer each question below by indicating how strongly you agree or disagree with the idea expressed. Circle any number from 1 to 7 to indicate various levels of agreement or disagreement.

1 - 2 Strongly Disagree
3 - 4 - 5 Neither Agree or Disagree
6 - 7 Strongly Agree

1    2    3    4    5     6     7     I believe we can handle whatever conflicts will arise in the future.

1    2    3    4    5     6     7     I feel good about our prospects to make this relationship work for a lifetime.

1    2    3    4    5     6     7     I am very confident when I think of our future together.

1    2    3    4    5     6     7     We have the skills a couple needs to make a marriage last.

Total up your answers on the above four questions. The highest score possible is 28 and the lowest is 4.

25 to 28 HIGH: -- You scored high, suggesting that you have a lot of confidence in the future of your relationship. As much or more than average.

20 to 24 MEDIUM: -- Your score suggests some confidence, but also some concerns about how well the two of your manage life together.

19 and below LOW: -- You scored relatively low on this measure, which could mean that you are not feeling very confident in the future of your relationship.

Conflict Questions

Answer each statement in terms of how often you and your spouse/partner experience each of the following situations.

Little arguments escalate into ugly fights with accusations, criticisms, name calling, or bringing up past hurts. Does that happen . . .

1. never or almost never
2. once in a while
3. frequently

My spouse/partner criticizes or belittles my opinions, feelings, or desires. Does that happen ...

1. never or almost never
2. once in a while
3. frequently

My spouse/partner seems to view my words or actions more negatively than I mean them to be. Does that happen . . .

1. never or almost never
2. once in a while
3. frequently

When we argue, one of us withdraws .. that is, does not want to talk about it anymore, or leaves the scene. Does that happen ...

1. never or almost never
2. once in a while
3. frequently

Total up your answers on the four questions above. The highest score possible is 12 and the lowest score possible is 4. On the first two sets of questions, higher scores are usually better. Here, lower scores are better because they indicate less negative communication patterns of a sort that cause difficulties for most couples.

9 to 12 HIGH: Scores in this range indicate a high frequency of conflict patterns that various studies suggest damage relationships over time. If you scored high and that matches your sense that the two of you argue often and in damaging ways, you should both consider developing a plan for how you will turn these kinds of negative patterns around -- all the more so if you have children at home.

6 to 8 MEDIUM: Scores in this range mean you might be seeing more difficulties in how the two of you handle conflict than is really good for you or your relationship over time. It might be good to be thinking together about how you could manage conflicts and differences more constructively so that you do not damage the great things about your relationship.

4 to 5 LOW: Scores this low indicate that you see little to be concerned with in terms of how the two of you handle conflict. The key for you is to keep it that way, since negatives can do so much damage to the positives in life together. It is always a great time to do preventive work

Positive Bonding Questions

Please answer each of the following questions by indicating how strongly you agree or disagree with the idea expressed.

1 = Strongly Disagree
2 = Disagree
3 = Neither Agree Nor Disagree
4 = Agree
5 = Strongly Agree

1    2    3    4    5    We have a lot of fun together.

1    2    3    4    5    We regularly have great conversations where we just talk as good friends.

Total up your answers on the two questions above. The highest score is 10 and the lowest score is 2.

9 to 10 HIGH: Your score suggests that, at least from your perspective, the two of you are doing a great job keeping the positive connection going between the two of you.

7 to 8 MEDIUM: Your score suggests that there might be room for improvement in how often you are taking time to be together in positive ways.

2 to 6 LOW: Your score suggests that the two of you are not spending nearly enough time together in these positive ways. You can get by for a time letting this slide, but to really keep your relationship strong you should consider what the two of you can do to rebuild the kinds of positive time you spend together.

This quiz was put together based on research by Scott Stanley and Howard Markman of the University of Denver. They along with colleagues such as Susan Blumberg and Natalie Jenkins have been developing books and materials for couples that are based on many years of research on marital success and failure. These questions are meant only to give you a rough sense of how you think your relationship is doing in these four areas, and your scores should not be taken to mean anything absolute about your relationship or your future.

If you wish to improve how the two of you are handling some of these areas on life, all of these themes are covered in detail in their book "Fighting for Your Marriage." There are other materials available to help couples build strong and happy marriages, most of which are described at www.PREPinc.com.

If, as you have been reflecting on your relationship, you find that you are deeply concerned about how the two of you are doing or your future together, you may find it useful to seek out marital counseling.

You could ask a clergy person you trust for advice on how to get help or contact an organization such as the Colorado Association for Marriage and Family Therapy at www.coloradotherapists.com/index.htm.