January 29, 2009

A week ago Sunday we were winding up our weekend watching "Desperate Housewives" (we're a loyal ABC family) when I suddenly smelled something funny. Marianne looked at me and said "Do you smell something burning?" (For a human, she has a pretty good nose.) We rushed in to the kitchen and turned off the dryer. John and Marianne pulled it away from the wall and cleaned out all the lint (which I offered to eat) from the hoses. But when Marianne turned it back on, the burning smell came back. So, no more dryer until a repairman can look at it.

"But what about my cape?" I fretted. "My cape still needs to be washed, doesn't it?"

"You are such a worry wart," Marianne laughed. "First of all, I already washed and dried your cape, so it's nice and clean. Second, I can hand-wash it or even wash it in the dishwasher in a pinch. And third, we'll just take our clothes to a Laundromat until the dryer is fixed."

"A Laundro-what?" I asked.

"A Laundromat is a business with washers and dryers. I'll take you with me so you can see it," Marianne promised.

So this Sunday Marianne loaded up all the clothes, sheets and towels and we drove over to a Laundromat. It was nice and warm with dozens of machines all humming away. We picked an empty row of washers and Marianne started putting clothes into them. "You know, you might have to help someone do laundry someday," she remarked.

I watched for a few minutes. "How could I help?" I wondered.

"Well, you could put items into a laundry basket, carry or drag the basket into the laundry room or Laundromat, and take items out of the basket and drop it into the washer or dryer," she explained. "If you end up working as a Hearing Dog you could alert your partner to the buzzer when the washer is out of balance or when the dryer is finished with its cycle."

"But I don't know how to do those things and I never have understood the whole sorting thing you do! What if I goof and put a dog toy in with the sheets or something?" I worried.

"Oh, calm down!" Marianne said. "You don't have to know how to sort the laundry; your partner will tell you what goes where, and the trainers at Advanced Training will teach you how to do the rest. For example, they might put a rope on the laundry basket and teach you how to pull it. And rest assured, putting a dog toy in with the sheets would not be a fatal mistake."

Oh. OK. I relaxed a little bit and watched as Marianne finished sorting the clothes and carefully sprinkled soap in the machines. "Now I need to feed the washers," she said, rummaging around in her purse. FOOD? I perked up. "Does Eukanuba make washer kibble?" I inquired. "Can I have some?" Marianne laughed. "No, you silly boy, I meant I need to put quarters into the machines. Sorry, I didn't mean to get your hopes up." She put quarters into the machines which began making sloshing sounds.

Just then the door opened and a sleepy-looking fellow shambled in, dragging a large plastic garbage bag. He stopped in front of a big washer and shoved the contents of the bag into it, dumped soap on top and slammed the lid. After putting some quarters in and starting the machine, he picked up the empty bag and shambled back out.

"Wow," I said. "That didn't take long. How come he just put everything in one machine?"

"That," Marianne said, "Is what I call Guy Laundry. Shove everything into one machine, no sorting and no regard for color or type of item or fabric. Works fine if you don't care if everything is a uniform shade of dingy."

Soon our clothes were ready to go into the dryers. Marianne sorted things again into piles in a wheeled cart and then put each pile into a separate dryer. "How do you know which pile each item goes into?" I asked. "Well, these things are delicate so they only go in the dryer for 10 minutes on low heat. These towels are heavy and will take longer, so I'll put them in another dryer for 20 minutes on high heat," she explained, feeding more quarters into the dryers.

"Will I have to learn how to put the quarters in, too?" I wondered.

"Probably not, but you might have to pick up a quarter off the floor if your partner dropped it," Marianne said. "You'll learn how to pick up all kinds of things at Advanced Training."

I was pondering this when the sleepy guy came in and put everything from the washer into one of the wheeled carts. He took it over to a dryer, shoved everything into it, put in 3 quarters, turned it on high and sat in a chair to wait.

"More Guy Laundry?" I inquired.

"Yup, and watch what happens when it's done," Marianne said.

While she finished sorting and folding our laundry, the sleepy guy's dryer stopped. He walked over with the plastic bag and carelessly stuffed all of the clothes from the dryer into the bag. He shambled back out.

"Won't those things be kind of wrinkled?" I asked. "And he didn't really seem to check to see if everything was dry, so won't some things still be damp?"

"Yes," Marianne agreed. "That's Guy Laundry for you." She gave me a hug. "You're such a smart puppy, and you will be a big help to your partner some day."

I hope I'm up to the challenge, but I have to admit, Guy Laundry sounds a whole lot easier!

Chow for now!

Ross

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