Dear DoubleTake,
For the last four months, my boyfriend has been getting text messages from a girl he claims is his cousin.

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Some of the texts I have read say things like, "Good morning, my love," "Hey, sexy," and "Wake up! I love u so much."
Recently, a card showed up in the mail to him, and she started it off with, "To my friend, heart and my lover."
We are corrections officers, we work the same shift, have the same days off and live together. She lives 3½ hours away.
Now he tells me that he doesn't want to be with me because he feels that I confine him and he wants to move on. We have been together for two years.
When I called to confront this woman, she said, "Ask him to find out what is going on," and hung up on me. I am so in love with this man.
Can you please tell me what you think is going on here?

BETTY SAYS:

Kissing cousins? I think not. Terms like "lover" and "sexy" aren't typically used between relatives.

I suspect your man is going behind your back. Then again, he's been up front about wanting to move on, so why not let him go before things get worse?

It's not worth your time trying to investigate who this woman is. Any extra effort spent on trying to figure out why he went astray will just make you upset.

It's like the lyric in that Britney Spears song, "I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic?"

This situation is no good for you. Try to be dignified and exit gracefully. Getting roped into the drama will just set you back.

EDDIE SAYS:

This guy has done more than just tell you he wants to end things. He cheated, threw it in your face and tried to treat you like such an idiot that you would get fed up and kick him out. He underestimated how much junk you would accept.

If he claimed they just have a friendship, "sexy" could reasonably just be light flirting or joking. But a "cousin" who calls him "lover"? If you tell your friends about this, they probably act supportive and let you nurse your delusions that it might mean nothing. When you leave, though, they roll their eyes and pity you while congratulating themselves for never getting so blind to a guy that they can't see something so obvious.

So stop acting more stupid than you must be, get rid of him and hope that the next time you build a relationship you find someone who treats you with a little respect for your ability to figure things out.

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Do you need a second -- and third -- opinion about a problem in your life? Ask Double Take and you'll get two points of view: one from Eddie, a married family man in his early 30s, and one from Betty, a single woman in her 20s.

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