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Professor Wrestling: 'Royal Rumble' Results

It's All About Batista

POSTED: 8:32 am EST January 28, 2005
UPDATED: 8:48 am EST January 31, 2005

Listen up! Class is in session.

How do you spell perfection? P-R-O-F-E-S-S-O-R. You want to know how the big pay-per-views are going to unfold? Just come here. Last night in Fresno, Calif., it was the "Royal Rumble." Friday (for you new students), I predicted what would happen. Today, here's the results.

We'll get to the big match in a minute, but first the undercard of this joint venture put on by the "RAW" and "Smackdown!" crews.

Shawn Michaels vs. Edge
What Should Happen:
Here, Michaels gets the opportunity to help Edge move onto the next level, and out of mid-carder Hades. Edge must put on the match of his life, or he may as well go back to the tag team division with Captain Charisma. Now that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to happen, but it would be nice to see if Edge can handle being the main event. I like the intensity of his character lately, but he has to be booked into something special.

What Will Happen:
This should be a good match -- perhaps a great one. Edge will get the clean pin. Later, Michaels will eliminate Edge from the Rumble to spoil his shot at a title.

What Did Happen:
Edge wins the curtain-jerker with the help of the ropes, pinning HBK.

Kurt Angle vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield for the WWE championship
What Should Happen:
Angle should win, but retain his heel status. JBL has done an admirable job with the strap, but I'm tired of the comedy champion act. Big Show, although his acting is getting better, just doesn't have it in the ring. Angle deserves another run.

What Will Happen:
JBL gets the win. Show gets hurt. "WrestleMania 21" rematch between Angle and JBL.

What Did Happen:
JBL survives to keep the belt, pinning Angle.

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich in a casket match
What Should Happen:
Undertaker should realize his act simply isn't fresh anymore and take a step forward. He has a lot to give, so perhaps retirement, and the manager of a new stable? As for Heidenreich, he's doing a good job being loopy … but can he wrestle? There's no evidence of this so far. As Prof. Jr. said to me while watching "Smackdown" this week, "Dad, I hate Heidenreich." Just before he said that, I was thinking the exact same thing. Now, that's eerie. By the way, casket matches are stupid.

What Will Happen:
UT wins the casket match. The monster Heidenreich fades into obscurity.

What Did Happen:
Even though H-man got some help from fellow monster, "Smackdown's!" Snitsky, UT still won.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Randy Orton for the WWE world heavyweight championship
What Should Happen:
HHH should retain in order to make sure he has the belt for his "WrestleMania 21" title defense against Batista.

What Will Happen:
I'm predicting a slobberknocker, but HHH isn't leaving the building without the title. There's no WrestleMania money in Orton vs. Batista. HHH wins, with a bit of chicanery from slick Ric Flair.

What Did Happen:
HHH retains. Which sets him up for a huge WM21 payday against Batista. Providing Batista wins the Rumble. Let's see how he did.

The Royal Rumble
What Should Happen:
Batista should win. It's the only scenario that makes sense. By the way, hats off to Batista for his emerging babyface turn on "Raw" lately. His backstage acting has been just about perfect. Although his ring skills still seem a bit stiff, I get the feeling he'll be an effective champion once he wins the belt at "WrestleMania 21." The fans are already cheering him.

What Will Happen:
Batista wins, bet the farm on that one. As for the rest of the match … I'm thinking the final four will be Chris Benoit, John Cena, Booker T and Batista. Although Booker T would be a good choice to win this match (and a belt sometime this year), I don't think anyone will touch Batista.

What Did Happen:
Batista won, tossing out Cena for the final victory. For the record, the final four were: Batista, Cena, Rey Mysterio and Edge.

That's it. Again, my pinpoint accuracy was uncanny. Comments, compliments, complaints (hard to believe there would be any)? Those go right here.

(Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting Systems. He urges you to buy the ECW DVD produced by WWE. It's fantastic.)


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