Well, class, let's just say the Professor is no dummy. Last week, I served up the "worst of wrestling" column, asking for your comments. Thanks for all the mail. So this week, I'm gonna put my feet up, light a stogie and watch the ballgame -- you've practically written the column for me. And for the record, some of your spelling and punctuation was atrocious (you know who you are.) This is a classroom, after all! But I've cleaned it up for you, it was the least I could do. So here it is: "The Worst Of Wrestling: The Readers Respond."

Let's start with Alisson L. Jalil, who’s down on Vinnie Mac:

The worst ever thing to happen in the world of wrestling -- period -- was good ol' Vinnie boy monopolizing the market when he bought up WCW and ECW. Look at the way the ratings have slipped, the junk storylines. Listen, business is business and family is family. They should NOT mix. Vince needs to grow a pair and get Vince Russo back in charge of things on the creative side and leave his family where they belong: AT HOME AND NOWHERE NEAR THE RING!!!! WWF R.I.P.

Another McMahon ripster, Bobby Siers:

I have been watching wrestling for almost three decades now. So, I have seen the best of the best and the worst of the worst. So, I can say that beyond a shadow of a doubt that the "Worst Ever In Pro Wrestling" has to be Vince McMahon; for allowing these garbage storylines to continue. It’s more about sex than wrestling these days. So, until it changes, or if it ever changes, I will not waste my time or money on the WWE anymore.

Well, Bobby, don't hold your breath, because it's not gonna change. Sex sells, and that’s just the way it is. If only Mae Young could retire in peace. But that's probably not gonna change either. Which brings us to our next letter, from a gal named Judy:

I've got to say the worst moment was "Mae's Topless Tantrums." Please, THIS IS/WAS A FAMILY SHOW AND WE JUST CAME FROM DINNER!

Ditto, from T.Taylor:

Let's not forget about Mae Young and Sexual Chocolate Mark Henry's love affair. Does it get any worse than this?

Not really. Unless it involved Katie Vick. Speaking of ick, here’s a funny item about Slick. Again, from Judy:

The Worst Dressed: The Slickster. Did he jump out of an Oakland Goodwill Dumpster? I got into it once, down front at Arco (Arena, Sacramento) , with Slickster, for making fun of Sapphire (Dusty Rhode's old manager). Had a ball, gave him the "BIG" moon because he was making fun of her. Wanted to show him what "BIG" was all about. Embarrassed my son to death. No , it wasn't on camera. Darn.'

Now, if I read that right, one of my students was mooning a wrestling manager in public? At a house show? And it was a big moon? Good God Almighty, to steal a phrase from J.R. -- who I happen to think is the greatest announcer ever. That means Randall Ebsen and the Prof. don't agree on Mr. Oklahoma:

J.R. has to be the most annoying announcer in the history of wrestling. If he says Randy Orton or HHH is running like a scalded dog one more time I'm going to puke. I thank God every Monday that Rob Van Dam went to "Smackdown!" so I don't have to hear about his educated feet anymore. What’s with J.R. screaming, "WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION" on every two-count. It doesn’t matter if the match is only 15 seconds old. "Oh no here comes Kane, that, that monster, that, that beast he's so deformed." Eww, good description J.R. but do we have to hear it every single time he comes out? It's too bad J.R. wasn’t out longer when Kane burned him. Oh well, I guess he’s just tougher than a Waffle House steak.

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You bet he is. And a big part why WWE is so successful. Moving on, a few students decided to write laundry lists of "worst" stuff. This one is from Graveyard79:

Worst Storyline: Hillbilly Jim , what a waste he was.
Worst Worker: Remember "The One Man Gang " He was a fat waste of time.
Worst Tag Team: Has to be the "Rock and Roll Express," who really thought they could beat anyone?
Worst Outfits: Rikishi. Can you say, "EWWWWWWWWW?"
Worst Female: Terri Runnells. Can she even say DUH?

Another laundry list, from Brad Mann:

What about the Moondogs? They have to up there for worst gimmick or worst outfit.
Johnny B. Badd was an awful gimmick. Good wrestler, but the Little Richard take made me hate him.
Hulk Hogan, with the black shoe polish beard. I liked him as a heel, but that was awful!!
Gordon Solie, the announcer from the old NWA. I couldn't stand his voice.

Finally, a long note from Angela Cox, who really has a love for this goofy TV circus. Thanks, Angela … you get an “A-plus” for your contribution:

I have been a wrestling fan since the day I was born. My parents used to take me to the Greenville Memorial Auditorium almost every Monday night and then to Spartanburg Memorial Auditorium almost every Saturday night. Then when I graduated high school I went to work at Starvin Marvins at Highway 214 and 85 where all the "heels" came in on Monday nights after wrestling in Greenville. I got to know some of the guys really well. Ivan Koloff (unfortunately this was before Nikita's time), Sgt. Slaughter, Ole Anderson and the WONDERFUL Roddy Piper. I have never met a more soft-spoken, well mannered and polite person in all my life and probably never will.

Through going to some of the local events such as high schools and gyms, I was able to meet another wonderful person in wrestling and that was Robert Gibson of the Rock and Roll Express. At that time my daughter was only 3 or 4 years old, and she thought Robert was the most wonderful thing in the world. She was able to meet him and hang out with him at some of these smaller events. I would love to be able to thank him for being so great with her and let him know how much she enjoyed those all-too-few times.

The first time my daughter met Robert was in the parking lot behind the Spartanburg Memorial Auditorium. She was just walking well enough to get down the big hill there in back. At that time the police had already started trying to keep the crowds back when the wrestlers were going in and out, but there were some people back there and we were standing at the top of the hill. Robert came walking by and I let go of Jennifer's hand to take a picture of him. By the time I got the camera ready and looked through the lens, I saw her running up to him. She held her little arm up to him. He stopped, put down his bag, picked her up and gave her a big hug. It was a moment I will never forget. After that, at the smaller events, he would be sitting at the merchandise table where he was selling his stuff and he would get her and hold her in his lap and play with her at the table until he had to go get ready for his match.

I know it's just TV entertainment, but as someone who grew up with the sport, these people become like your best friends. It's a total shame the turn some of the wrestling gimmicks have taken. I also think it's a shame that wrestlers and fans have to be kept so separated, except at the big "put on" autograph signing events. At these big events, there are so many people -- and things have to move along so fast-paced -- that you don't get to know anything about the real people. Both the fans and the wrestlers are missing out on a lot.

They are, without a doubt. We close with a bit of negativity. Of all the letters I received, only one bonehead really ripped me. It’s from Tampabucsin03, a guy who I'm guessing is a big Bucs fan:

This is the worst column ever. You don’t know jack about wrestling. You’re as fake as your wrestling columns.

Now the Professor is human, and that hurt. You can hate this column, and call me a phony (the mask is a bit much, but what the heck.). But don't say I don’t know jack about wrestling. I am a grappling scholar, sir, and I’ve bored Mrs. Professor for years with my knowledge of this sport (I love calling wrestling a sport, it drives real wrestlers crazy.) Anyway, enough of that nonsense. Next week: real names. And down the road, we'll turn it around and serve up THE BEST OF WRESTLING! As Mean Gene Okerlund used to say in his old A.W.A. days: "Don't you dare miss it!"

Have a great Memorial Day Weekend. Class dismissed.