Professor Wrestling: The 'WrestleMania 20' Review
Benoit, Guerrero Star In Pay-Per-View Event
POSTED: 9:37 a.m. EST March 15, 2004
I'm Professor Wrestling. Class is in session.
Today's lesson: the results from Sunday's "WrestleMania 20" at Madison Square Garden.
Friday, I doled out my best guesses on what would happen during Vince McMahon's biggest show of the year. Let's run 'em down:
John Cena vs. The Big Show for the WWE U.S. Title.
What Will Happen: Cena raps out a few fat jokes towards the rotund Big Show, wins the U.S. Title.
What Did Happen: Cena pins Big Show for the title. Booker T and Rob Van Dam vs. The Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak vs. La Resistance for the World Tag Team Titles.
What Will Happen: Booker T and Rob Van Dam will retain their belts.
What Did Happen: Rob Van Dam pinned Rob Conway of La Resistance for the win, Booker and RVD keep the belts. Christian vs. Chris Jericho
What Will Happen: Christian over Jericho. Look for Y2J to get tripped up somehow by girlfriend Stratus.
What Did Happen: Christian pinned Jericho after Stratus got mixed up in the match. Afterwards, Stratus turned heel and left with Christian. The Rock and Mick Foley vs. Batista, Randy Orton and Rick Flair (Evolution)
What will happen: Let's see, the Rock has a new movie coming out ("Walking Tall") and Foley is now a novelist. I'd say the WWE will let the good guys win to make sure the marketing machine hums along.
What did happen: Heel Randy Orton pinned Mick Foley. Look for a "legend" versus "legend-killer" rematch between the two. Playboy Lingerie Match Sable and Torrie Wilson vs. Stacy Keibler and Jackie Gayda.
What Will Happen: Silicone will happen, with current Playboy divas Sable and Wilson winning whatever it is they're fighting about.
What Did Happen:.Silicone did happen, with Wilson pinning Gayda. Cruiserweight Open Elimination Match: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Billy Kidman vs. Ultimo Dragon vs. Funaki vs. Nunzio vs. Tajiri vs. Jamie Noble vs. Shannon Moore.
What Will Happen: Look for the masked Rey Mysterio to upset current champ Chavo for the title.
What Did Happen:Chavo pinned Mysterio to retain his title. Brock Lesnar vs. Bill Goldberg, with Stone Cold Steve Austin as the special guest referee.
What Will Happen: Lesnar and Goldberg will both be disqualified after repeated run-ins with Austin. Both wrestlers are reportedly quitting the WWE after "WrestleMania 20," so it's probably best for business if Austin comes out looking the best.
What Did Happen Goldberg pinned Lesnar for the win, then Austin gave both a stunner after the match. During the match, the crowd yelled, "You sold out" to Lesnar, who wants to try out for the NFL. WWE Tag Team Title Fatal 4-Way: Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas vs. Doug and Danny Bahsam vs. the APA vs. Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty.
What Will Happen: I'm convinced McMahon realizes his tag team product is pretty lame these days. The best way to get it going again is to allow Benjamin and Haas to wear the belts again. They work too hard in the ring not to be on top.
What Did Happen: Rikishi pinned Danny Basham for the win, retaining the belts with Scotty 2 Hotty. Victoria vs. Molly Holly for the WWE Women's Title
What Will Happen: Since the champ, Molly Holly, has to shave her head if she loses (love those 'rasslin' stipulations) look for the WWE to make sure that visual happens.
What Did Happen: Victoria pinned Holly to win the WWE Women's Title. Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle for the WWE Title
What Will Happen: Look for a 30-minute match, minimum. Guerrero takes retains the title in a "WrestleMania" classic.
What Did Happen:Guerrero pins Angle to retain his title. Not a classic, but a solid 21-minute match, further elevating the great Guerrero. The Undertaker vs. Kane
What Will Happen: Undertaker takes it in a short match, with no outside interference.
What Did Happen: Undertaker, making his return in his mystical "deadman" persona, gave Kane a tombstone piledriver for the win. Chris Benoit vs. Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels for the World Heavyweight Title
What Will Happen: Well, let's see ...Triple H is married to Stephanie McMahon. Conventional wisdom says HHH retains the strap, but at some point McMahon has to reward the terrific Benoit.
What Did Happen: McMahon rewarded the terrific Benoit. The Rabid Wolverine made HHH tap out with the crippler crossface for the title. That's it. The way I score it, I was right on the money in seven of 12 matches. Considering this was scripted entertainment and I didn't have a script, I'll give myself a B-plus. Class dismissed. (Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting Systems. His hometown is listed as "parts unknown.")
Today's lesson: the results from Sunday's "WrestleMania 20" at Madison Square Garden.
Friday, I doled out my best guesses on what would happen during Vince McMahon's biggest show of the year. Let's run 'em down:
John Cena vs. The Big Show for the WWE U.S. Title.What Will Happen: Cena raps out a few fat jokes towards the rotund Big Show, wins the U.S. Title.
What Did Happen: Cena pins Big Show for the title. Booker T and Rob Van Dam vs. The Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak vs. La Resistance for the World Tag Team Titles.
What Will Happen: Booker T and Rob Van Dam will retain their belts.
What Did Happen: Rob Van Dam pinned Rob Conway of La Resistance for the win, Booker and RVD keep the belts. Christian vs. Chris Jericho
What Will Happen: Christian over Jericho. Look for Y2J to get tripped up somehow by girlfriend Stratus.
What Did Happen: Christian pinned Jericho after Stratus got mixed up in the match. Afterwards, Stratus turned heel and left with Christian. The Rock and Mick Foley vs. Batista, Randy Orton and Rick Flair (Evolution)
What will happen: Let's see, the Rock has a new movie coming out ("Walking Tall") and Foley is now a novelist. I'd say the WWE will let the good guys win to make sure the marketing machine hums along.
What did happen: Heel Randy Orton pinned Mick Foley. Look for a "legend" versus "legend-killer" rematch between the two. Playboy Lingerie Match Sable and Torrie Wilson vs. Stacy Keibler and Jackie Gayda.
What Will Happen: Silicone will happen, with current Playboy divas Sable and Wilson winning whatever it is they're fighting about.
What Did Happen:.Silicone did happen, with Wilson pinning Gayda. Cruiserweight Open Elimination Match: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Billy Kidman vs. Ultimo Dragon vs. Funaki vs. Nunzio vs. Tajiri vs. Jamie Noble vs. Shannon Moore.
What Will Happen: Look for the masked Rey Mysterio to upset current champ Chavo for the title.
What Did Happen:Chavo pinned Mysterio to retain his title. Brock Lesnar vs. Bill Goldberg, with Stone Cold Steve Austin as the special guest referee.
What Will Happen: Lesnar and Goldberg will both be disqualified after repeated run-ins with Austin. Both wrestlers are reportedly quitting the WWE after "WrestleMania 20," so it's probably best for business if Austin comes out looking the best.
What Did Happen Goldberg pinned Lesnar for the win, then Austin gave both a stunner after the match. During the match, the crowd yelled, "You sold out" to Lesnar, who wants to try out for the NFL. WWE Tag Team Title Fatal 4-Way: Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas vs. Doug and Danny Bahsam vs. the APA vs. Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty.
What Will Happen: I'm convinced McMahon realizes his tag team product is pretty lame these days. The best way to get it going again is to allow Benjamin and Haas to wear the belts again. They work too hard in the ring not to be on top.
What Did Happen: Rikishi pinned Danny Basham for the win, retaining the belts with Scotty 2 Hotty. Victoria vs. Molly Holly for the WWE Women's Title
What Will Happen: Since the champ, Molly Holly, has to shave her head if she loses (love those 'rasslin' stipulations) look for the WWE to make sure that visual happens.
What Did Happen: Victoria pinned Holly to win the WWE Women's Title. Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle for the WWE Title
What Will Happen: Look for a 30-minute match, minimum. Guerrero takes retains the title in a "WrestleMania" classic.
What Did Happen:Guerrero pins Angle to retain his title. Not a classic, but a solid 21-minute match, further elevating the great Guerrero. The Undertaker vs. Kane
What Will Happen: Undertaker takes it in a short match, with no outside interference.
What Did Happen: Undertaker, making his return in his mystical "deadman" persona, gave Kane a tombstone piledriver for the win. Chris Benoit vs. Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels for the World Heavyweight Title
What Will Happen: Well, let's see ...Triple H is married to Stephanie McMahon. Conventional wisdom says HHH retains the strap, but at some point McMahon has to reward the terrific Benoit.
What Did Happen: McMahon rewarded the terrific Benoit. The Rabid Wolverine made HHH tap out with the crippler crossface for the title. That's it. The way I score it, I was right on the money in seven of 12 matches. Considering this was scripted entertainment and I didn't have a script, I'll give myself a B-plus. Class dismissed. (Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting Systems. His hometown is listed as "parts unknown.")
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