WASHINGTON, D.C. - It’s finally happened. The government has infringed upon one of the founding tenets of our great nation – the right to pump America’s children full of saturated fats. Thanks to a federal regulation prohibiting sugary sweets, we are now witnessing the death of the bake sale. But one of the few true Americans left in Congress has filed legislation to combat this injustice.
Rep. Ted Poe, R-Texas, realized that cake is the only thing that schools should be cutting, not bureaucratic red tape. On Feb. 11, Poe introduced his BAKE SALE Act, which would block any funding toward the implementation of these draconian regulations. BLESS YOU, PATRIOT.
“First, the regulators came into our lunchrooms, then vending machines and now school fundraisers,” Poe said in a press release. “For years, students and parents have used the bake sale as a way to raise funds for school trips, athletic competitions, new uniforms and other activities. Teachers in my district have come to me concerned that this new rule will prevent their students from holding various after school activities. Washington bureaucrats have no business telling any American (no matter what age) what they can and cannot eat.”
Rules that went into place last summer under the Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act mean that food sold in fundraisers must meet militant nutritional standards. The legislation, which passed in 2010 with Salad Czar Michelle Obama backing it, is part of wide-sweeping efforts to limit food with too much fat and sugar in schools. That includes foods made and sold by America’s future entrepreneurs at bake sales.
At the very least, there is one brief glimpse of hope in all of this aside from Poe’s legislation. The USDA allows states to request exemptions for “infrequent” fundraisers, though it leaves “infrequent” open to interpretation. The Associated Press reports that less than half of the states have restored this God-given right.
This August, the good people of Georgia successfully voted down the brownie ban, putting a new standard in place that would allow them to have up to 90 days of free-market cupcake sales. Some enterprising students in South Carolina successfully lobbied their state school board by taunting them with cookies and a $40,000 revenue loss.
See? This is anti-capitalist as much as it is anti-cupcake.
Bake sales are about as American as apple pie – not that they could even sell that in school now. Do you want to know what a bake sale run by the federal government looks like? Do you, America?